Tower of Terror 4
by Bankotsubo
Summary: In "Plant Your Seed in My Body" Zidane and Dagger are attacked by an inhabitant of Evil Forest. In "The Sexorcist" Beatrix is possessed by an evil spirit. And in "Attack of the 50ft Dagger" the people of Alexandria face a giant-sized Dagger.
1. Plant Your Seed in My Body

DISCLAIMER: FFIX and all its related characters are the property of Squaresoft.  
  
  
FFIX: Tower of Terror IV  
  
EXT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - EVENING  
  
STEINER is out on the balcony of the West Tower. ZIDANE creeps up behind him, smiles, then pushes him over the edge of the tower. Steiner falls to the bottom, and lands on top of VIVI, who is then crushed flat. Steiner picks himself up and looks down at Vivi's battered body. He shrugs and walks off. The words "TOWER OF TERROR IV" form in the brickwork of the castle walls, as rats feast upon Vivi's body.  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
  
FFIX: Plant Your Seed in My Body  
  
INT. EVIL FOREST - NIGHT  
  
ZIDANE AND DAGGER are lost in the forest.  
  
DAGGER  
"Oh Zidane, how're we ever gonna find our way out of this awful place?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"I don't know, Dagger, but I do know this for sure... this sucks."  
  
DAGGER  
"If only we hadn't had wandered off from the rest of the tour! Why did I have to listen to you?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"...You love me really. 'Sides, I can think of an advantage to being out here all alone together. Heh heh."  
  
DAGGER  
(Smiles)  
"What ARE you suggesting, Zidane Tribal?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"...Come here and I'll show you, baby!"  
  
They move closer together and begin to kiss. They both drop to the ground and start to roll around on the earth.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Mmm... yeah!"  
  
The bushes behind them start to rustle.  
  
DAGGER  
"Huh? Wh-What was that?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"I didn't hear anything. Just relax, babe."  
  
DAGGER  
"...Okay."  
  
They continue, while the bushes rustle even more.  
  
DAGGER  
"There it is again."  
  
ZIDANE  
"There was what again?"  
  
DAGGER  
"The bushes... they're moving...!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"..."  
  
A PRISON CAGE leaps out from the bushes and swings down from the trees. It advances onto Zidane and Dagger.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Holy crap on a stick! It's one of those weird plant creatures!"  
  
DAGGER  
"Quick Zidane, kill it before it traps one of us!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Stand back, Dagger! I'm gonna bust this thing up!"  
  
DAGGER  
"Be careful, Zidane!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Don't worry! I'll be fi-"  
  
The monster whacks him across the face with its left arm.  
  
DAGGER  
"Oh!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Ow, that hurt..."  
  
He falls to the ground, unconscious.  
  
DAGGER  
"Zidane!"  
  
She rushes to his side. The Prison Cage advances on them both.  
  
DAGGER  
"You stay away from me!"  
  
She summons IFRIT. He wastes the Prison Cage, then disappears into thin air.  
  
DAGGER  
"Zidane, are you alright?!"  
  
ZIDANE  
(Wakes up)  
"Uh... Dagger?"  
  
DAGGER  
"Thank goodness, you're okay!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Of course I'm okay... My face kinda hurts, though."  
  
DAGGER  
(Laughs)  
"Oh you!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"...What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
Dagger shrugs. The Prison Cage rears up for one last attack and sprays its seeds into the air. Dagger moves back as the seeds cover Zidane, who then faints.  
  
DAGGER  
"Zidane, no!"  
  
INT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - NIGHT  
  
Zidane wakes up in Dagger's bedroom.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Wh-Where am I?"  
  
Dagger and STEINER crowd around the bed.  
  
DAGGER  
"Zidane, you're awake!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Yeah... and home too, by the looks of things."  
  
DAGGER  
"Steiner came to look for us in the forest. He helped carry you back here to the castle. If it wasn't for him, we'd both still be lost in the darkness."  
  
ZIDANE  
"Gee... thanks Rusty."  
  
STEINER  
"Anyone would have done the same. Although I should have never let you two go off on that Evil Forest tour in the first place. That place is too dangerous."  
  
ZIDANE  
"Well, for once I agree with ya. Aahh!"  
  
DAGGER  
"Zidane, what's the matter?!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"It-It's my... stomach... argh!"  
  
DAGGER  
"Steiner, what's wrong with him?!"  
  
STEINER  
"I-I don't know!"  
  
ZIDANE  
(Clutches his stomach)  
"Argh! It hurts!"  
  
STEINER  
"I'll call Doctor Tot!"  
  
He leaves the room. Dagger grabs Zidane's hand and squeezes tightly.  
  
DAGGER  
"Be strong, Zidane."  
  
ZIDANE  
"Owww!"  
  
INT. GARNET'S BEDROOM - NIGHT  
  
DOCTOR TOT has now joined Dagger and Steiner. Zidane is still squirming around the bed in pain.  
  
TOT  
"Yes... I think I know what the problem is."  
  
DAGGER  
"What is it, Doctor Tot?"  
  
TOT  
"These are my old glasses. I can't see as well with these as I can with my new ones."  
  
He removes his glasses and takes out a different pair from his coat. He then puts the new pair on.  
  
TOT  
"Ah, that's better. Now, let's see what's the matter with this young man, shall we?"  
  
He examines Zidane.  
  
TOT  
"Yes... I think I know what the problem is."  
  
DAGGER  
"What is it, Doctor Tot?"  
  
TOT  
"You never removed the monster's seeds from his belly, did you?"  
  
DAGGER  
"Monster's seeds?"  
  
TOT  
"The monsters in the Evil Forest reproduce by planting their seeds into the bodies of other organisms. Your friend Zidane here has several seeds planted inside his body. That's why he's acting so strange."  
  
STEINER  
"Good lord! Then how do we remove the seeds?"  
  
TOT  
"It's a simple enough procedure. Just give the patient a drink of special medicine, then that'll flush all the seeds out of his body."  
  
DAGGER  
(Sighs)  
"Thank heavens!"  
  
TOT  
"Unfortunately, this particular patient is done for."  
  
DAGGER  
"What?! Why?!"  
  
TOT  
"The patient is required to drink the medicine within an hour of the seeds' plantation. And by the looks of this person, I'd say the seeds were planted well over an hour ago."  
  
STEINER  
"So what does this mean?"  
  
TOT  
"Basically, your friend is screwed."  
  
DAGGER  
"No..."  
  
TOT  
"You better believe it, Princess. Well, if you need me again, please do not hesitate to call me. You have my number."  
  
He leaves the room.  
  
DAGGER  
"Oh Steiner!"  
  
Dagger sinks into Steiner's arms.  
  
STEINER  
"I'm so sorry, Princess."  
  
ZIDANE  
"Aahh!"  
  
Zidane's stomach bursts open, as a small Prison Cage creature emerges. It shrieks quietly at Dagger and Steiner, who both whimper in fear. The Prison Cage wraps its arms around the couple and pulls itself onto them. Dagger and Steiner continue to whimper; frozen in fear of their lives. The Prison Cage opens its mouth and... licks their faces; the creature likes them.  
  
DAGGER/STEINER  
"Huh?"  
  
INT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - NEXT DAY  
  
Dagger, Steiner, VIVI AND EIKO are sitting at the dinning room table. The baby Prison Cage is on the table.  
  
DAGGER  
"...Then it burst out from Zidane's stomach, and it hasn't left our side since."  
  
STEINER  
(Laughs)  
"It thinks the princess and I are its parents! How cute is that?!"  
  
EIKO  
"I'm deeply disturbed right now..."  
  
VIVI  
"This is the worst Halloween story ever."  
  
DAGGER  
"...I know."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
THE END  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	2. The Sexorcist

DISCLAIMER: FFIX and all its related characters are the property of Squaresoft.  
  
  
The Sexorcist  
  
EXT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - EVENING  
  
Establishing.  
  
INT. HALLWAY - EVENING  
  
The spirit of Vivi's grandpa, QUAN, is wandering the halls.  
  
INT. DAGGER'S ROOM - EVENING  
  
ZIDANE AND DAGGER are laying in bed, kissing. Zidane begins to stroke Dagger's hair.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Mmm... I love you so much, Dagger..."  
  
DAGGER  
"Zidane? What're you saying? Neither of us is drunk."  
  
They both giggle and kiss again. A moan echoes through the corridor outside.  
  
DAGGER  
"What on Gaia was that?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Well, it was one of two things. Either it was a ghost... or your mom masturbating again."  
  
DAGGER  
"Hmm..."  
  
ZIDANE  
"Anyways, who cares what it was. Let's make love, Dagger."  
  
DAGGER  
"Tonight has been so perfect, Zidane. Should we really spoil a great evening by making love?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"You're probably right."  
  
They kiss once more, and then both go to sleep.  
  
INT. STEINER'S ROOM - EVENING  
  
STEINER AND BEATRIX are laying in bed together. Beatrix starts kissing Steiner.  
  
STEINER  
"Beatrix, please, it's been a rough day. I'm really not in the mood for that kind of behaviour tonight."  
  
BEATRIX  
"Steiner, we haven't made love in over three months. I'm getting really sexually frustrated. You either make love to me right now, or I'm going to look elsewhere."  
  
STEINER  
(sighs)  
"Fine."  
  
Steiner pulls the blanket over the top of them. The consumation begins.  
  
BEATRIX  
"Oh, Steiner!"  
  
STEINER  
"Shh! If Her Majesty hears us, we shall be in deep trouble!"  
  
Quan appears from out of nowhere. He notices the activity under the bed covers. He smiles and disappears into the bed with Steiner and Beatrix.  
  
INT. QUEEN BRAHNE'S CHAMBER - NEXT MORNING  
  
QUEEN BRAHNE is sitting at her throne. Zidane and Dagger are with her.  
  
BRAHNE  
"...and I will not put up with this behaviour any longer. Understand?"  
  
DAGGER  
"All right, Mother. We're sorry."  
  
BRAHNE  
"Yes, well, apology accepted, I suppose."  
  
Steiner runs in, panicking.  
  
STEINER  
"Your Majesty! Your Majesty!"  
  
BRAHNE  
"You! You're late! And where the devil is General Beatrix?!"  
  
STEINER  
"Beatrix, she is..."  
  
DAGGER  
"What's the matter, Steiner?"  
  
STEINER  
"It's Beatrix. There is something very, very wrong with her. You must come at once."  
  
ZIDANE  
"All right, all right. We heard you the first time, Rusty."  
  
INT. STEINER'S ROOM - MORNING  
  
Beatrix is sitting under the bed covers, silently. Steiner bursts in, followed by Zidane, Dagger and Queen Brahne.  
  
DAGGER  
"Beatrix??"  
  
STEINER  
"She's been sitting like that ever since we finished making love last night. At first, I thought she was just recovering after the good bonking I gave her, but now, I'm a little concerned..."  
  
DAGGER  
(waving her hand in front of Beatrix)  
"Beatrix?? General Beatrix?? Can you hear me??"  
  
Beatrix doesn't move an inch.  
  
BRAHNE  
"Oh, this is ridiculous! She must be faking it! General Beatrix! This is Queen Brahne speaking! You will snap out of this trance this instance!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Doesn't look like she's budgin', Your Majesty."  
  
STEINER  
(crying)  
"Beatrix! Please, talk to me! Do something, anything! Just let us know you're okay!"  
  
Beatrix begins to float up towards the ceiling. Everyone stares at her in amazement.  
  
STEINER  
"What the...?!"  
  
DAGGER  
"Goodness!"  
  
BRAHNE  
"I don't believe this!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"She can fly!"  
  
Beatrix' head begins to rotate round and round.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Wow! How the hell did she do that?!"  
  
BRAHNE  
"I really do not know, but I simply must get her to teach me sometime!"  
  
BEATRIX  
"Fools! Prepare to perish!"  
  
Beatrix lifts her sword from behind her back. She swipes back and forth at her friends. Queen Brahne's head gets sliced off.  
  
DAGGER  
"Mother...!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Language, Dagger! Language!"  
  
DAGGER  
"Beatrix! What have you done?!"  
  
BEATRIX  
"You all must die!"  
  
She swipes her sword again. The three friends duck, but the sword manages to slice off a few hairs from Zidane's head.  
  
ZIDANE  
(rubbing his head)  
"Whoa! I was due for a haircut this week, but this is ridiculous!"  
  
DAGGER  
"Have you gone insane, Beatrix?! Stop this right now!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"What in God's name has happened to her?! Has she been taking drugs, Rusty?"  
  
STEINER  
"Not that I'm aware of, no. I mean, of course not!"  
  
INT. STEINER'S ROOM - DAY  
  
DOCTOR TOT is examining Beatrix.  
  
TOT  
"Hmm..."  
  
ZIDANE  
"What's the diagnosis, doc?"  
  
TOT  
"It looks to me as though your good friend Beatrix has been possessed by some kind of unworldly spirit."  
  
DAGGER  
"Goodness me! That's awful!"  
  
TOT  
"Yes. If I were you, I'd call for an exorcist."  
  
Doctor Tot pulls a card out of his coat and hands it to Steiner.  
  
TOT  
"Here's the telephone number of a personal friend of mine, who may be able to help. I'd advise you to give him a call."  
  
DAGGER  
"Thank you, Doctor Tot."  
  
STEINER  
"Yes. You have our gratitude."  
  
TOT  
"It's a pleasure to help. Goodbye, General Beatrix."  
  
Beatrix whips out her sword and chops off Doctor Tot's head.  
  
TOT  
"If it's not too much trouble, could one of you three do me a favour and reattach my head to my body?"  
  
Steiner picks up Tot's head and puts it back onto his shoulders.  
  
TOT  
"Most appreciated."  
  
Tot walks out of the room. His head wobbles back and forth on his shoulders as he moves.  
  
TOT  
"Ooh! Ow! Ow!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's call that number!"  
  
EXT. COURTYARD - AFTERNOON  
  
An EXORCIST is standing outside the front doors of the castle. He has a briefcase with him. Dagger answers the door.  
  
DAGGER  
"Hello?"  
  
EXORCIST  
"Did someone call for an exorcist?"  
  
DAGGER  
"Yes. Please, do come in."  
  
INT. HALLWAY - AFTERNOON  
  
Dagger holds the door open as the exorcist walks in.  
  
DAGGER  
"Thank you so much for coming on such short notice, Mr. Exorcist, but this really is an emergency."  
  
EXORCIST  
"It had better be. I was in the middle of my pottery class. Lord, I love pottery. It's so relaxing."  
  
DAGGER  
"Yes, well, um, the patient is upstairs. Please, this way."  
  
INT. STEINER'S ROOM - AFTERNOON  
  
Zidane and Steiner are standing by the bed. Beatrix is still sitting under the covers, frozen. Dagger and the exorcist walk in. Steiner smiles upon the exorcist's arrival.  
  
STEINER  
"Oh, praise be to the gods!"  
  
The exorcist examines Beatrix.  
  
EXORCIST  
"This young, highly sexually appealing woman has been possessed by the spirit of a dead person."  
  
DAGGER  
"We knew that anyway. What we need is for you to cure her. Can you help?"  
  
EXORCIST  
"I've dealt with cases like this before. I'm afraid there's only one way I can get the evil spirit out."  
  
STEINER  
"I don't care how risky or dangerous this procedure might be, I want you to do it! Beatrix' safety is all I'm concerned about!"  
  
EXORCIST  
"There's nothing risky or dangerous about this procedure, sir. It's 100% effective guaranteed."  
  
STEINER  
"Fine! Then hurry up and do it! What does this entail?"  
  
EXORCIST  
"Sir, I... the only way I can remove the spirit from her body is by having... sexual intercourse with her."  
  
ZIDANE  
"What?!"  
  
STEINER  
"You're kidding?!"  
  
EXORCIST  
"You see, the spirit we are up against here is one that travels from body to body through sexual intercourse, much like an STD. It seems it chose this woman as its host, and the only way we can rid the body of it, is for me to have intercourse with her so it may transfer into mine."  
  
DAGGER  
"But then you'll be stuck with the ghost!"  
  
EXORCIST  
"But that's the beautiful part!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"I don't understand..."  
  
EXORCIST  
"With the spirit inside me, all I have to do is simply have sex with a common animal such as a chocobo or... or a mu, and then it will be transferred into them!"  
  
DAGGER  
"But then the poor animal will be stuck with the ghost!"  
  
EXORCIST  
"So some dumb animal is left with an evil being inside it - big deal!"  
  
STEINER  
"As much as it pains me to allow this... course of action to be taken, I'm afraid I have no other choice. Pump her brains out, Mr. Exorcist."  
  
EXORCIST  
"She'll be spirit free in about half an hour."  
  
STEINER  
"Half an hour?!"  
  
EXORCIST  
"You wouldn't begrude me a little fun, would you? I haven't had it in over six months."  
  
INT. HALLWAY - AFTERNOON  
  
Zidane, Dagger and Steiner are standing outside Steiner's room. Steiner is pacing the floor, upset.  
  
DAGGER  
"Zidane...? If that was me in there, and I was the one possessed with the evil spirit, would you let the exorcist have intercourse with me to save my life?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Hell no! You're an idiot, Rusty!"  
  
STEINER  
"Aah! What've I done?!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
THE END  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	3. Attack of the 50ft Dagger

DISCLAIMER: FFIX and all its related characters are the property of Squaresoft.  
  
  
Attack of the 50ft Dagger  
  
EXT. ALEXANDRIA PLATEAU - EVENING  
  
A U.F.O is flying through the sky.  
  
INT. BRIDGE - EVENING  
  
Two PUPUs (from Final Fantasy VIII) are standing by the control panel.  
  
PUPU #1  
"I told you we should've made a left at that last meteorite. Now we're hopelessly lost."  
  
PUPU #2  
"We are not lost. We just... don't know where we are at this precise moment in time."  
  
PUPU #1  
"Well, let's settle the ship down here for the night. We'll continue our journey tomorrow."  
  
PUPU #2  
"No. I want to continue our journey now."  
  
PUPU #1  
"What you want, and what you get, are two different things, Number 2. Now, set this thing down right away!"  
  
PUPU #2  
"No!"  
  
PUPU #1  
"Do it!"  
  
PUPU #2  
"Make me!"  
  
PUPU #1  
"All right then! You asked for it!"  
  
PuPu #1 wrestles PuPu #2 for the control stick. They both tug it back and forth.  
  
PUPU #1  
"Let go!"  
  
PUPU #2  
"Never!"  
  
PUPU #1  
"Give it up! I'm waaay stronger than you!"  
  
PUPU #2  
"And I'm Lord PuPu the 1st!"  
  
PUPU #1  
"No you're not! I am! You're Lord PuPu the 2nd!"  
  
PUPU #2  
"Oh, it's like that, is it?!"  
  
They both tug at the control stick even harder.  
  
EXT. ALEXANDRIA PLATEAU - EVENING  
  
ZIDANE AND DAGGER are walking through, holding hands.  
  
DAGGER  
"Oh, Zidane, this was a wonderful idea: an evening stroll out in the countryside, just you and me. What could be better?  
  
ZIDANE  
"Hundreds and hundreds of gil... oh, wait a minute, we already have that."  
  
Dagger cuddles Zidane. A loud explosion occurs in the distance.  
  
DAGGER  
"What was that?!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"...probably something we should stay well clear from. Let's go home, babe."  
  
DAGGER  
"No, Zidane. We must investage. It might have been an airship crash. People could be injured. Come."  
  
Dagger runs off into the distance.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Dagger, no!"  
  
DAGGER  
(shouting)  
"Come on!"  
  
EXT. HILL - EVENING  
  
The U.F.O has crashed into the hill. It is now nothing more than a wreck. A green light is emitting from the ship. Dagger approaches.  
  
DAGGER  
"Hello?! Hello?! Is there anyone in there?!"  
  
She finds a hole in the side of the ship and walks in. Zidane arrives.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Dagger?! Dagger!"  
  
Dagger walks out of the U.F.O. She is also surrounded by the strange green glow.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Dagger!"  
  
DAGGER  
"I couldn't find any survivors. It appears everyone onboard that ship is now... dead."  
  
ZIDANE  
"You're lucky you're not dead yourself! Running off in there like that! The thing could've exploded!"  
  
Zidane thinks for a second.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Which reminds me... RUN!"  
  
He grabs Dagger's hand and leads her down the hill. The U.F.O explodes, sending debris flying across the countryside.  
  
EXT. ALEXANDRIA PLATEAU - EVENING  
  
Zidane and Dagger are laying on the grass, covering their heads. A few pieces of small debris land near them. Zidane gets up, and then helps Dagger to her feet. He notices that she is covered by a strange green glow.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Hey, Dagger, since when has the green look come back into fashion?"  
  
DAGGER  
"What do you mean?"  
  
Dagger looks at her hands. They are glowing.  
  
DAGGER  
"What... is this?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"I don't know, but we shouldn't take any chances. I'm taking you to see Doctor Tot."  
  
EXT. TRENO - EVENING  
  
Establishing.  
  
INT. TOT'S TOWER - EVENING  
  
Zidane, Dagger and DOCTOR TOT are there. Doctor Tot is examining Dagger. He also has a neck brace wrapped around his neck. (A reference to the previous Halloween tale, "The Sexorcist".)  
  
TOT  
"Good lord! You must be really sick, Princess. You've actually turned green! Now isn't that something?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"What's wrong with her, Doctor Tot?"  
  
TOT  
"Radiation poisoning."  
  
ZIDANE  
"Is it fatal?"  
  
TOT  
"Oh, God, no! Things like this generally tend to go away by themselves. Give her a few days, a week at the most, and I guarantee the Princess will be back to normal. Trust me, I'm a doctor!"  
  
EXT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - NEXT MORNING  
  
Establishing.  
  
INT. DAGGER'S ROOM - MORNING  
  
Zidane, half asleep, puts his arm over Dagger. His eyes open in shock and he looks over at her. She's at least twice her size.  
  
DAGGER  
"Mmm... Morning, Zidane!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Da-Dagger?! What the heck?! Did you... grow overnight?!"  
  
DAGGER  
(giggles)  
"Silly Zidane! Everyone grows overnight! Our bodies are growing all the time! Except for when we get to Mother's age, of course. Then we start shrinking overnight."  
  
INT. QUEEN BRAHNE'S CHAMBER - MORNING  
  
QUEEN BRAHNE is sitting on her throne. She is a midget.  
  
BRAHNE  
"Hmph!"  
  
INT. DAGGER'S ROOM - MORNING  
  
ZIDANE  
"No, I mean, Dagger, take a look in the mirror!"  
  
Dagger gets out of bed, causing her end of the matress to spring up and reshape itself with the rest of it. She walks over to the mirror and takes a look inside. She faints instantly.  
  
INT. DINNING ROOM - MORNING  
  
STEINER, VIVI AND EIKO are sitting at the table, eating their breakfast. Zidane and Dagger walk in.  
  
VIVI  
"Oh, my!"  
  
EIKO  
"What the?!"  
  
STEINER  
"Princess?!"  
  
DAGGER  
"Good morning, everyone..."  
  
Dagger sits down at the table. Steiner looks up at her.  
  
EIKO  
"How'd you get so big all of a sudden, Dagger? Is Quina's cooking really THAT good?"  
  
QUINA walks in with Zidane and Dagger's breakfast on a tray. S/he sees Dagger, screams and throws the tray into the air in horror, and then runs off back into the kitchen.  
  
DAGGER  
"Oh, I'm a freak!"  
  
She begins to cry into her arms. Zidane comforts her.  
  
ZIDANE  
"There, there, Dagger. You're not a freak."  
  
DAGGER  
(sniffs)  
"Really?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"I... Dagger, please don't make me answer that. You wouldn't like what I have to say."  
  
Dagger breaks down in her arms again. Her tears hit Steiner. He gets out an umbrella and puts it up.  
  
INT. TOT'S TOWER - AFTERNOON  
  
Zidane is talking to Doctor Tot.  
  
ZIDANE  
"You lied to us. You told us yesterday that Dagger's radiation poisoning wasn't fatal."  
  
TOT  
"It isn't."  
  
ZIDANE  
"Then what do you call that, smarty pants?!"  
  
Zidane points towards the window.  
  
EXT. TRENO - AFTERNOON  
  
Dagger is standing by the tower. She is almost as tall as the tower itself.  
  
INT. TOT'S TOWER - AFTERNOON  
  
TOT  
"So she grew a few feet. I wouldn't call that fatal."  
  
ZIDANE  
"A few feet? A few?!"  
  
TOT  
"Look, I specifically kept quiet about this because I didn't want to worry you, but this is perfectly normal for a patient suffering from radiation poisoning. But like I said, she should be fine by the end of the week, back to normal size and everything."  
  
ZIDANE  
"And what are we supposed to do until then? We can't keep her in the castle anymore. She's creating massive footprints in the floorboards. And don't get me started on those holes in the ceiling."  
  
TOT  
"I don't know. What am I, the answer to life's every question?"  
  
EXT. ALEXANDRIA - EVENING  
  
A 50ft Dagger is walking through the town, picking up buildings and destroying things. Residents are running through the streets, screaming and panicking.  
  
ZIDANE (O.S)  
"Dagger! Dinner time!"  
  
DAGGER  
"Dinner time?! Huzzah!"  
  
She walks back towards Alexandria Castle.  
  
INT. DINNING ROOM - EVENING  
  
Zidane, Steiner, Vivi and Eiko are sitting at the table, eating their dinner. Dagger's foot is the only part of her body that can be seen. Her giant hand reaches down to the table and feels around. Everyone looks very nervous. Vivi pushes the salt down the table towards Dagger's hand. She picks it up.  
  
DAGGER (O.S)  
"Thanks, Vivi!"  
  
VIVI  
"D-Don't mention it, Princess!"  
  
EIKO  
"Does anyone else agree that Dagger's being here is causing some huge - and no pun intended there - problems around here? For a start, there's hardly anything left for us during meals anymore. Oh, and while we're discussing Dagger's new bad habits, has anyone seen the state of the bathroom lately? I found a clump of hair in the shower today the size of Lindblum Castle! Oh, and we can't forget about the-"  
  
Dagger picks up Eiko by the head.  
  
EIKO  
"Hey! Hey!!"  
  
Dagger lifts Eiko up into the air and, though not seen, eats her.  
  
DAGGER (O.S)  
"Mmm... crunchy!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Dagger! You just ate Eiko!"  
  
DAGGER (O.S)  
"Oh. Well, can I have some Vivi on the side to go with that?"  
  
VIVI  
(panicking)  
"Waaaa!"  
  
EXT. ALEXANDRIA PLATEAU - DUSK  
  
Dagger is laying on the grass. Zidane is laying on her belly.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Ah... this is the life, huh babe?"  
  
DAGGER  
"Zzz... Zzz..."  
  
ZIDANE  
"Dagger?"  
  
DAGGER  
"Zzz... Zzz..."  
  
ZIDANE  
"Ah, well. Might aswell have a little fun while she's asleep."  
  
Zidane crawls up her belly and climbs into the top of her dress. He disappears between her breasts.  
  
ZIDANE (O.S)  
"Hee hee! I'll miss this when she's small again! Bing, bong, bong!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
THE END  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Story based on an idea by Ace11788 


End file.
